Like most people with a 12 year old daughter, I have been introduced to the wonderful world of Glee. I actually enjoy the show and believe that, for the most part, it imparts values that I think are appropriate for the age range.
However, the show’s view on sex really throws me for a loop.
I don’t think it’s my imagination that they essentially portray frustrated boys who have a hard time controlling their need for sex, and the girls don’t seem to really want it or need it but “give it up” – or not – to please the boys.
As we close in on 2011, do we really need another show that caters to stereotypes about men, women and sex? Hasn’t anything changed? Must we continue to propagate the myth that “Boys want sex but girls just want to be kissed?”
What’s particularly upsetting is that girls end up internalizing the message girls don’t really have a libido . And that’s not good for anyone. It’s not good for them because they may try to ignore their libido, to deny that undeniable part of them,and even begin to believe that those feelings of desire are bad or abnormal. Girls who are keenly aware of their libidos often end up feeling like there is really something wrong with them; kids have been known to use the term “sex-crazed” to describe girls who acknowledge their desire. By trying to ignore their sexual feelings, they can also miss important cues about what turns them on, what things about sex are appealing to them and, importantly, how they manage those sexual feelings. Promiscuity does not come from acknowledging sexual feelings; it comes from the inability to understand them and manage them with appropriate behavior.
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And for the boys, feeling like you must always be in the mood for sex, anytime, anywhere and with anyone is also not a helpful message. To support the myth that boys are virtually unable to control their impulses is dangerous and can give permission for inexcusable behavior.
So come on, Glee. Let’s see if you can’t strike a better chord when it comes to defining sexuality in teen life. The experts at MCFS would be happy to consult with you on this!
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Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.